common sense and silly links
Published at Tuesday, February 28, 2006 by kedabtw,
if you are an american citizen check these guys out.
if you are english make poverty history is still a good place to start for that kinda stuff.
and for something else completely check out this video to counterpoint the muslim rave party sensation video i posted a link to below a few days ago.
sorry mum.
whatever happened to the good samaritan?
Published at Tuesday, February 28, 2006 by kedahaving not really studied the book sufficiently i am curious. did anyone make sure that he wasnt sued, or charged with... i dont know, innapropriate helpfulness. or maybe the guy he helped thought "hey i'm onto a good thang here" and just tried to fleece him once he saw a glimpse of compassion. who knows? mum?
on the way home from nursery today i took the girls to the pazar (local weekly produce market). we had a great time choosing interesting veg to buy, going mostly by colour- pink apparently is good (yashi)- green is ok as long as its not leaf shaped (both), orange is great (both, unless its a carrot -then its bad, yashi).. unfortunately as soon as most of its put on a plate i can guarantee that not only will they deny all knowledge of seeing what we bought before, they will also say "i don't like this", contadicting themselves obviously but without a trace of irony.
going with the girls was definately a good move as everyone made loads of fuss over them and we got lots of freebies. the lets had at least 2 mandalinas each, loveday munched a carrot, and they got 2 handfulls each of sultanas and sesame covered peanuts. when i got home and unpacked i realised we'd also been given a couple of teeny let sized apples. we even managed to struggle home with all our bags. we'd found a couple of cheap etch-a-sketch's and a skipping rope too which helped the smooth running of the trip.
after picking up a pair of boots that i'd left at the cobblers on the way out to be polished (i love this country!!!! we do it ourselves in blighty*), we rounded the corner to our house....
right in the middle of the road outside our gate, lying face down was a man. he was twitching as we approached and as we got closer i realised he was foaming at the mouth. there were 2 people looking at him from the doorway opposite and shaking their heads and two people walking in front of us. one of the men in front of us laughed as he walked by. the other just sped up. i sent the girls inside and asked the women opposite if they knew what was happening. they shrugged. i asked how long he had been there they shrugged and said "bilmem". i askede if they had called the police or anyone else. they said "ne y'apalim?" (i dont know how to write it but it means "what can i do?", in a resigned way, or more like "what do you expect me to do about it".
so i called the local police station. i tried first on my mobile but the reception was so bad i had to rush upstairs and use the home phone. when the man heard me talking to the police he started to stir. he dragged himself to the side of the road and leaned on a car. at this point an elderly man walked by and seeing the situation he told the women who were still gawping outside to give him some water. i leant over the balcony and asked him if he was ok and said i'd called the police as i didnt know who else to call, and hadn't been inspired by any other locals! he thanked me and then started begging for money in a very wobbly way so i said goog luck, gecmis olsun and went inside.
about half an hour later the doorbell rang. and it was him. thank goodness for peepholes in the door. i asked what he wanted and he wanted money again. he still had 'stuff' dribbling from his chin. apparently tha police never turned up. he said he was on pills and had a drink and it made him go all funny. he wanted money to buy more pills. i told him that i wouldnt give him any money as if he's drinking he would just do it again. he kept ringing the doorbell until i shouted that i would call the police and tell them he was bothering me and despite the fact they hadn't bothered to check if anyone was dead in the street earlier, that seemed to worry him enough to get going. talking to my helper sarah afterwards she told me that an african friend of hers found a woman collapsed on the street and took her to a hospital. he left his adres with the hospital staff and left. he was later arrested by the police who kept him in jail for 3 days until the lady told them he hadn't done anything but help her.
they do say "no good deed ever goes unpunished" its funny because i can't remember where i heard that recently but i heard it only a few days ago!
interesting, peoples reactions to situations like that isn't it?! some people are afraid to help in case something goes wrong... or just dont care, or get embarrased, or take everything in their stride and take control of the situation. i was trained in first aid (reluctantly i should add as i'm extremely squeemish and gag uncontrolably when faced with anything remotely icky!), but when faced with someone in a trouble despite being able to take a pulse and do the recovery position i am most useful in the calling the cops/ambulance/shouting for help kind of area. unless someone looks completely hygenic and totally harmless i would be very reluctant to get too close, let alone attempt ressucitation. i have always felt ashamed of that, as if i was in trouble i would hope that someone would help me. but being reminded today of how many people dont even think to do anything i was reminded of how frightened we all are. in an emergency how do you react? im pretty sure knowing past personal behavior that i can always be relied upon to react. woefully inefectually mostly, but its a start. and despite my miriad fears i will continue to offer inadequate assistance at every available opportunity.
anyway we can talk about that more later. 
to top off our busy day, about an hour later, after tying hoops to the skipping rope and stretching it between the door and the table so you couldn't get in or out of the salon without squeezing through hoops, loveday fell and twisted her arm. she cried so much for so long and screamed whenever she moved, that after 30mins i decided to take her to hospital in a cab. of course it was quite distressing but we have been through it before when yashi used to dislocate her elbows regularly, and then when she fractured her arm falling off a horse, and most recently when she swallowed a dime. that trip incidentaly has great xray which i planned to post here but couldn't locate so i'll post it when i find it! but for loveday this was a first. she howled when the doctor touched it and asked her to squeeze his hand so we went for xrays again. yashi was having a wonderful time hugging all the nurses and various hospital staff and visitors. poor old ladooshka screamed again as we positioned her hand for 3 different angles. but then miracle of miracles, as soon as she saw that yashi had been given a plastic syringe (minus the needle) to play with she wanted one too and when i said i'd help her because she could only use one arm she said " no. i can do it myself!" ... kazzaam! her arm worked again!
we dutifully trundled back up to the dishy doc (incidentaly in the past 3 years every a&e doctor i've seen has been dishy. is this a ploy to get us to return often and spend more money at that hospital, or a more charitable attempt to get our endorphins going to make us feel better?) and showed him our perfect xrays of loveday's perfectly healthy arm.
oh well, thank goodness for insurance- but it still cost me 30ytl plus taxis. a bargain of course for the plastic syringes and peace of mind!
till next time guys, stay healthy! and if you cant, make sure you get yourself to a&e, as we cannot be relied upon to help you. but look at the upside too, here at least if you are a girl or a gay man you've got some nice eye candy with a white coat to look forward too* and if you're a straight guy you probably like nurses anyway no?
Labels: istanbulundercover, rantlets, the wonderlets
elephant girls adventures in capa.... a rant.
Published at Saturday, February 25, 2006 by kedayeszterday i spent a truely hideous day in capa. (pronounced chapa- i dont have a turkish keyboard so cant use the right c with a dash!)
its not thankfully something i have ever done before or plan to do again. and it was a stark reminder of how fortunate i am not to generally need to go to places like that, when i am feeling my most vulnerable as many people are when they go.
for those of you lucky enough to have no idea what i'm talking about, capa is a state run teaching hospital. it is spread over a large complex of ugly concrete 'buildings' in various stages of delapidation. inside the complex there are no signposts, that doesnt just go for outside the buildings either. inside the building i was sent to there was no reception or information desk. inside the front door there were 3 corridors and a set of stairs to choose from.
i guess before i go any further i should explain why was in this god forsaken dump. despite being otherwise very fit and healthy and having given up smoking 3 months ago, i have this last week developed ulcers and a stubborn cold sore, enlarged glands under my chin and my gums were also tender. i went to my dentist on monday and she said i should gargle with salty water and it was probably just nmy immune system being 'down' so iu should eat loots of fruit etc and come back on friday. but by friday morning nothing had changed for the better and i had now developed some kind of swelling or lump on my chin bone too! very attractive and rather uncomfortable i must add!
anyway she took one look at me and said i shoud see a specialist. turkey has no gp system so you have to know whats wrong with you before you actually see a doctor who specialises in that area. also when you see a doctor of any sort it appears you really need to go on the recommendation of someone they know in order to be seen and treated well. thats what happened here, my dentist knew a couple of specialists who she could highly recommend, but both worked at capa. she called one and told them to expect me.
so off i trundled....
i finally found the right bombed out looking monstrosity and entered. one after the other, i walked down 2 of the corridors azlong which i asked 2 group of students where i could find bilgin hanim (the doc) and was answered with vacant shrugs. i finally went down the stairs and asked again and was told 'klinik' and blue doors. so i went back upstairs, down the 3rd corridor found the blue doors and went through.
once inside this new corridor i was faced with lots of doors along the walls leading to a disgruntled rabble of about 70 people hanging about between 2 doors at the end. again there was no reception or nurse or anything. i stood about confused for a minute or two before getting my act together and realising i was on my own so i would just have to be pushy and find her myself.
i squeezed through everyone and entered a door. i was then in a long corridoor/room with about 8 cubicles seperated by waist high tiled 'walls'. they looked a bit like cattle pens, and there were peolpe in dentist chairs being treated in about 4 of them. there were loads of students walking around but nobody stopped or asked what i wanted or who i was, there were a couple of other old people wandering and looking around and one nurse asked them to go outside. i asked 3 people where bilgin hanim might be and was agin shrugged at and told 'not here'. i went back outside and asked a student by one of the doors in the corridoor. she told me her office was the last door on the left. i went there and a woman inside said 'not here, clinic' so back i went and tried to go in the other door at the end. another student told me to go outside. i told him i was here to see bilgin hanim and he said to go to her office. i went back there and the woman said i should go back to the clinic and i shouldnt be in the office.
i wnet back to the second door and luckily there was noone to tell me to get out. this room/corridor had dentists cubicles with high dividers and real doors. i walked along looking in each one and asking for bilgin hanim until finally i found her.
she immediately looked at me and said i needed to go for a panoramic and one of those little xrays downstairs. we filled out some forms together and she pointed me downstairs to register my name etc.
downstairs i went to the first window i found and i was entered into the computer (incidentaly my name was unacceptable as i use keda richens-erturan here on my health insurance card to ensure that i have the same name as my children, but was laughed at for being so stupid and informed that that cant be my name, and that richens is my middle name not my surname!)
i was then told to go to the vezne which is where i have to pay, but before she gave me the forms she realised that the doctor had forgotten to sign them so i would need to upstairs and get them signed first. she than looked at her watch and said "oh there's no time- the vezne closes in 5 minutes. you will have to come back tomorow". i said 'NO' and grabbed them and ran back upstairs, shouted bilgin's name to find her and after she apologised profusely, ran backdownstairs! i then managed to get to the vezne with 30 seconds to spare. my first lucky break of the day!
incidentaly, every official building has a vezne which is where you pay for whatever. its always really complicated, and for some reason the people who man them appear to have extra privilages than the rest of the turkish workforce, meaning that they are hardly ever open! this particular vezne is only open fron 12-12.15 and from 14-14.15 every day, but they make sure that every building has different hours probably to ensure you cant beat the system. if you arrive at any other time you will not be able to get any treatment i guess as you will not be able to pay for anything!
fabulous system i guess as it cuts down on the amount of patients eligable for treatment each day!
next i take my receipts to the radiology rooms next door. thats relatively quick and painless, afterwards i'm informed that my panoramic will be ready in 1 hour, but that my normal bog standard dentists xray of my lower teeth won't be ready till 9.30 monday morning. to which i said "ok, is there a normal private dentist near here that i could run to and get it done?" they all laugh at me and turn away despite the fact that i'm deadly serious.
so i wait an hour, get my panoramic and head back upstairs.
i push through the crowd of less fortunate, and back to my corridor of salvation. i am questioned by 3 seperate students and told to go outside- nobody asks who i am waiting for. i refuse, peep into the cubicles until i find bilgin busy with another patient, make sure she sees me and then lean against a wall reading herman hesse's 'steppenwolf'. thank goodness i bought a book!
when sh's free she asks for the xrays. i tell her about the silly little one and she huffs and goes to find another doctor. they rush me into another room and tell a student to take my xray with the machine there and give them immediately. after she has taken them she says i should go to the vezne and pay and is about to hand me the form when she realises the doctors have written a false name and that i dont need to pay after all! my second licky break. thank you guys.
3 professors then pore over my xrays looking very concerned for 15minutes discussing before they tell me that nothing unusal appears to be showing. they ask if i am run down or if i've had flu recently. they then suggest i eat more fruit and vitamin c and say if its not better in a week to come back.
gggggrrrrrrraaaaaaahhhhhhhh.
as happy as i am to see nothing wrong that would involve dentistry and needles, i still look rather freakish on close inspection and my mouth hurts! i already make and drink fresh orange, carrot and ginger juice every morning (as do the girls), take regular vitamins, eat a balanced diet, work out, do yoga and have not had flu all winter.
i am not stressed, do not at present work too hard and am generally very happy and as relaxed as i have been for some time. added to the fact that i have given up smoking.... what else can i do???
i am determined however never to go back to that ghastly place. so i did the typical turkish thing, and went to the chemist on the way home and asked them for antibiotics. (which i NEVER do i, might add as i have an aversion to antibiotics and have the pampered english fear of self diagnosis)
i was left so exhausted and disgusted by the experience- i felt i must have left the damn place with more germs and bacteria on me than i went in with- i asked 5 people if it would be possible to wash my hands there anywhere but was fobbed off each time. . but it made me acutely aware of how lucky i am not to need to visit that kind of place whenever i am sick. and not that its anything new but it made me think again about how ridiculous this system is.
anyone with any money goes to the private hospitals, so that money is all channeled into private enterpise. none of it goes tthe needy. we are taxed vast amounts on our phone bills and our gas etc, but as far as i can gather bugger all goes to the government hospitals. why dont we put higher taxes on the private health care to help cover the costs of the grossly undersubsidised goverment healthcare? also within those hospitals like capa itself, i could easily afford to pay more than i did so why am i not means tested? as i could pay more why didnt i when that money could help create better care for all those who cant?
its the same with education. i dont choose to go private here, i'm forced to. the doctors at capa have a very good reputation- as good if not better than those who work in the private sector. i'm not sure why they work there though- maybe they have larger conciences. i for one would definately compromise if i could find a more ethically run hospital. i could forgo the size of the rooms and the posh canteens at the private hospitals if some of my money instead went to the poorer ones. treatment and cleanliness should never have to be compromised but i distrust the american hospital and many of the privates here. certainly they lie all the time about your rights and ability.
the american and definately the cerrahi hospital in yildiz both lie everyday to women about their ability to give birth naturally. they use scaremongering tactics and leave women no choice but to opt for more dangerous ceasaerian births. if they lie this easily how can we trust thenm not to deceive us on other things. yet we and our insuance companies pay them vast amounts of money every day. none of this helps anybody but the big companies who run them and the greedy doctors.
i for one would much rather have things a little more basic and honest for my money, and know that each time i got sick i could give something to help those in real need who have none. tax the private hostpitals and private schools and put that money directly back into the state ones. it will be better for all of us. less of the poor would be walking the streets with tb and hepatitis and they might be better educated and so the whole country would benefit.
i know thertes nothing new in any of this but whenever i get a stark reminder of how it is to live in that other world which is right beside mine i want to do something. even if its just to rant. at least i pass it on!
meanwhile my chin still hurts but hopefully the antibiotics will kick in soon. until apart from the odd movie and massaging someone very wierd but famous here this afternoon, i'll be hiding my elephaant man features at home in my nice warn centrally heated apartment with healthy stimulated children, my digiturk and my adsl internet connection. how lucky i really am!
fyi: the consultation with a doctor cost 11ytl thats around £4.50
the panoramic xray cost 24ytl abound £10
the normal tooth xray cost 7ytl around £3
for dental thats incredibly cheap. though if you are poor here that would still not be cheap as the wages can still be incredibly low. also you dont just p[ay for dentists here, you pay for doctors too and all prescriptions.
most of us (meaning anyone reading this!) could easily pay more- and when we go private we definately do or our insurance does! 3 or 4 times as much at least. wouldnt we all be happy to have a small percentage of that go towards helping clean the floors, possibly even a reception desk so people could have a chance of being seen without having to push and shout, and getting running water at places like capa?
Labels: istanbulundercover, rantlets
hollaback!
Published at Thursday, February 23, 2006 by kedalast night after having watched 'i'm gonna tell you a secret' for the third time, i was given this adress by a friend who's over from new york. thanks to Sine*
i can remember many a time when this would have come in very handy though. i must also add that amazingly considering the way i was often treated when i first arrived here, i very rarely get harrassed nowadays in istanbul. even when i'm without the lets i should asdd. i'm sure that this in turn has led me to feel a lot happier and confident compared to when a few years ago i often felt threatened. just another example of how istanbul is changing daily. of course i should also add that i almost never go to the major harrasser catchment areas like kapali carsi or eminonu or reina. and although i'm sure there are still many lurking around istiklal, as i'm almost always late for wherever i'm going i'm in too musch of a rush to even notice.
despite having a good enough command of turkish to understand most of what someone could saay to me, it is still hard for turkish men to come close to to the kind of lewdness that comes out of english builder types toilet mouths. (i would as ever be very happy to be corrected if any native turkish speakers can send me examples!) they usually revert to the desperate "you must be lesbian" thing even quicker than the average brit though and in my experience are quicker to touch or at least try. your typical londaon lad's too scared to risk actual body contact generally in case you're on your way back from kickboxing class.
on that note in the first 3 years i was here i actually punched 3 men and shockingly for even me, i managed to knock them all to the floor- superhuman strength caused by terror and blind rage combined, and got 2 men forced of buses and beaten up by fellow passengers. they were both accidents- meaning i never meant that to happen to them as i prefer as i said before to play the disgusted 'lady' and play on their guilt feelings, but the other passengers where embarrassed and took things into their own hands. can you imagine anyone else sticking up for you on public transport in blighty? we can live in hope!
but anyway for those of you around the world who still stroll, haven't a black belt and keep your ears open, get your own back here! yet again i/we are back to the notion of being able to 'do' something.... which seems to have become a mini theme of this blog.
as i've said before i look forward to any ideas any of you may have to add. i like that this holler site has so much outside input.
back to everyday life,,,
i keep forgetting to send this link. sorry but its sooooo funny!
this beautiful spring weather got us out of the house again all day. after school the lets and i took a long walk, around the greek church garden and along the bosphorous to the shops.
actually we had to go back to migros to change somthing as the horrid cashier yesterday refused to give me my '2 extra free' yoghurts, just because they has been untaped by the girls and seperated. i fought yesterday until yashi fell over because i was too busy fighting to notice that she was swinging on railings. then i called the shop when i got home, complained and took the incomplete pack back today. everyone ran around apologizing (as they bl***y should) and gave free lollys. so now not only did we have to waste time going back, yashi bumping her head and my stress and annoyance level rising, my kids teeth will rot too! the glass is half empty!
it was really a good excuse to get the lets walking more. we stopped at the park fpr an hour (how do they stay excited that long with only a slide, a swing and a dodgy brige?- the joys of simple childhood pleasures*), and bought lovely smelly flowers on the way home.
fabulous day, despite no films.
i'll be back at the cinema tomoro, so more reviews over the weekend.
not much to add other than, if you get a minute and know a uk postcde, use it to sign this petition to try to make gordon brown give
if you have no uk connection but are a us citizen check out
kisses all
Labels: istanbulundercover, rantlets
gifted offspring?
Published at Wednesday, February 22, 2006 by kedathis will only be of interest to family and friends of the lets, so if you are neither of those i suggest skipping down to the last post!
i havwe to say, they certainly don't get it from me! despite my 5 years of art school i can nowadays barely draw a tree without having people ask me what it is!
here are a couple of the lets drawings since christmas (they'll be aged 4 this coming april). i have picked this one for its outstanding technical qualities. i promise i had no hand in it whatsoever. loveday drew it on the plane coming back from our christmas hols. she was so proud of it that she held it in the air for ages waiting for the hostess (i know that's not th ecorrect term but i can never remember what is) to see it and comment. however when the lady did see it she got all shy asnd almost cried!
its very obviously "and aeroplane with lotsa windows and a flower and a bee".
this one i picked for its lunacy and imagination. it was dawn by yashi a few days after watching the original 1967 film of doctor dolittle. you know the one with the giant pink sea snail at the end and the 2 headed push me pull me.
"its a snail, pretending to be a elephant, with his shell hiding behind 2 talking arms"
our home is overrun with 'artwork'. the lets have always been fond of a good scribble and daub, but having recently mastered the art of clever scissor work too its getting slightly ridiculous. they get up in the mornings and go straight for the paper and pencils. they then cut their creations out and unless i catch them first often attempt to glue them to the walls! loveday even seems to believe that if she hasn't got something she wants she can just make it out of paper.... often suggesting to me that "well mummy i could just make it out of paper and we can use that. is that a great idea?". very sweet, but slightly scary when we are talking about needing an airplane to fly to grans house in.
this is the same wonderkinder who found her own solution to her fear of monsters coming into her room at night. she said one night "i know i can draw a picture of the monster and me in my bed and then i can see it and i wont be scared. is that a great idea?" the next morning she did just that. she then took the drawing to bed with her the next nigjt and after looking at it propprd next to her she no longer worries about it. unless she wants an excuse to get up and stay up a bit later of course!
yashi works in a mpore abstract way. almost as good 'technically' as the dove nowadays, but more reluctant to draw things from 'real life'as she's not as confident. i think this comes from seeing loveday do it all so easily- she's afraid to fail so doesnt want to tyry. this twin thing is so interesting and still a little difficult at times! but she is getting more daring everyday. she has other talents which give her confidence thankfully. she's definately more confident socially outside of our home than the dove. she even takes care of her at school, and she's a hopscotch master.
the only thing about any of this that bothers me however is the vast quantities of paper we get through. the little angels have reluctantly begun to use bothy sides, but still we get through a pack of a4 every month nearly and a pack of a3 every 2 months. thats the standard packs of printing or photocopy paper btw which are pretty huge! I know there's no way around this unfortunately. there is no way i'm going to start limiting their creative impulses! but it has made me think about paper recycling again.
its so matter of course in the uk now to recycle. and many goods we buy are recycled. i would be intersted to know if it is easy to buy large packs of recycled drawing paper in the uk, us and europe. can anyone let me know? here its still pretty difficult. there is obviously no collection service, its hard to find bottle banks often either, and forget about those toxic batteries- they go straight in with the normal trash! the one thing that saves us here is that there are lots of very poor people and homeless who rake through our heaps of assorted rubbish and pull out anything they can sell. they'll often take bottles, cans, broken electronics and paper. however its not exactly efficiant. and as for finding recycled paper for drawing, i certainly havent come across it. i would very very grateful if any of you lovely turks reading this can correct me on this btw!
i have no point to make, just rambling thoughts..... so i welcome advice re all that.
hope you enjoy the drawings- send me some of your own and i'll post them. lets see who can better the lets!
Labels: the wonderlets
ok already here i am...
Published at Wednesday, February 22, 2006 by kedawell, i've been reprimanded for failing to update this often enough. i would in my defence remind you all that i have 2 children, lots of fabulous films to go to (this week only) and money to earn. give us a break yani! also the people who reprimanded me have failed to comment on anything so far anyway so if you want me to have new stuff to add why not contributing yourselves!
actually i have been busy trying to find an easier way to post films and photos. i think i have finally managed to do so , but as i haven't had much time i havent actually had time to post them or link to it. i'll try to get that done today somehow.
on what's being going on with m e other than that, what can i say but, 'this week i love my life!' nothing amazing has been happening really, if yoiu don't count the festival- though i guess that contributed quite a lot to my general sense of well -being. its been so inspirational. i've been lucky enough to pick films that have meant a lot to me. 
as i wrote in the comments to ozlem,the ballad of jack and rose was amazing. d.d.lewis was gorgeous- what incredible fore-arms! as i harbour quite hippy-dippy feelings about how children should be raised and schooling etc, despite worrying that thay also need to learn to fit into a not such a hippy-dippy society. the idea of eco living and home schooling still hold a lot of appeal. i obviously dont have the luxury of bucketloads of cash from any inheritance or a degree in engineering which could enable me to buy fabulous land and build dream home, and set up anything vaguely like that. and as i know my kids- let alone me need a lot more social interaction (gotta dance to loud music for a start!) its not for us.
however it was still wonderful and thought provoking to watch all the dilemmas such a life lived also raises. at one point, no matter how much we love our children and try to do what we believe to be best for them, it is possible that we will all look back and one day dispair that we were wrong. as the owner of the incredible fore-arms says at one point in despair (despite having thought deeply about what is best for his daughter and having tried earnestly to do his very best for her) " i have ruined my daughters life because of some snobbery?!"
but the film ends with hope. because i guess all we can do in the end is do our best, and stick to what we believe in. sexy forearms believed that if you are not happy with your situation you should change it, anyway you can. that we should try to do what is right for ourselves and our environment, not just for now but for the future too, and that we should fight for what we believe in. progress depends on our personal criteria. i dont see individually packaged antibacterial wipes a progress- i find then abhorrent, and a dangerous example of lack of vision and selfishness- making life easier for ourselves right now at the expense of our children and future generations who will be left to pick up the mess we made of the planet. but the mum of the children across the road finds them a fabulous modern invention. there are no easy answers.
but films and books and conversations which challenge our own beliefs and make us question our motives are crucial to all of us if we are to find the truth and to trust ourselves and our personal visions. learning is a lifelong process and whenever i feel i am being challenged and informed i feel good.
watching movies and reading books can be beautiful escapism, but they can also make you think. and thinking is goooood....
.....just so long as we are never foolish enough to think we know it all! another wonderful film i saw last week was 'the squid and the whale'. too much 'learning' and not enough doing or feeling certainly makes bernard a dull boy, and terrible parent. it again had amazing performaqnces by all, but especially the two boys. see it!
as for 'its all gone pete tong' what can i say, but for the ibiza generation whether you were actually there all not, its compulsive viewing. paul kaye is magnificent as the hedonistic super dj who goes deaf and slides into a depression and drug induced hell-hole. the film reminded me, as one of that generation, af many people that i have met along my way, and know i and others we knew will never see again. it begins as a heartbreaking and cautionary tale told with many laughs, an amazing soundtrack and for me lots of blubbing, but luckily as we all like a happy ending it also left me feeling inspired again. i spent the whole film moving my head- from bobbing it, to shaking it to nodding it and smiling, to wiping my nose and dabbing my eyes and then all over again. ace.
and finally for now, 'rize'. now thats amazing. another tale of hope from real people. david la chapelle's documentary of south central la's new dance form 'krumping' is just beautiful. impossible to describe. has to be seen to be believed. absolutely incredible dancing. i want the dvd coz i wanna teach the girls , but without it i'm pretty sure its out of the question as not only would i look ridiculous, i would probably pull something and spent the following weeks moaning on drugs on the couch.
off to see 'i'm gonna tell you a secret' tonight. i've already seen it and loved it so no point raving about it here.
and its gorgeous weather so we are going to walk to the shops.
get outside people.
oh and sorry about the low quality of the pics- they are just scanned from the if program!
Labels: istanbulundercover
'tree huggers anonymous' or '..unite' or something like that...
Published at Saturday, February 18, 2006 by kedathese are origami cranes, left in their millions at hiroshima see also:
i did try hugging a tree once, just to be polite, but to be quite honest it didn't do much for me and i felt a bit of a plonker.however the world today and for the past few years and weeks appears to have become as full of fear, hate and stupidity as it was before the 2nd world war and cold war. and we thought that could never happen again didnt we? and its got my lentil loving juices all riled upo again- or something like that. today as well as all the starving children, sickness and poverty and senseless war raging throughout the planet, we see another horrific disaster, leaving thousands dead.
Allah/God/yhvh etc has a lot to ponder, and must be very worried about his children. in these desperate times he must hope that his most faithful servants and followers will be spreading his word and helping their fellow man, the less fortunate, and the unenlightened. that they will be following his word to make the world that he created a peaceful caring place worthy of his love.
or was this image of a loving God/Allah/yhvh etc that most people who have any belief at all believe in just a clever advertising ploy? could he/she/it really be the vengeful, prideful, vain, jealous, murderous advocate of bribery we are recently lead to believe him/her/it to be?
exhibit a: from the guardian again i'm afraid...
"This is a unanimous decision by all imams of Islam that whoever insults the prophet deserves to be killed and whoever will take this insulting man to his end, will get this prize," Mr Qureshi said. "This killing will enhance respect for Islam and for Muslims. Next time nobody will dare to commit blasphemy against our prophet," he told the Guardian."
now i do hasten to add that this is only the most recent idiocy i have come across and probably not necessarily the worst for the world at large, though it is pretty bl**dy bad.
am i the one losing the plot here or is that just silly scary and after all very very very sad. does YHVH/Allah/God etc really want that to be the reason people dig him/her/it?
its not just the extremist muslims (not all muslims of course, but you knew that already)
but their age old rivals some of the christians ie; gorge bush etc (not all of them either- as my mum would hasten to add " they are probably not 'real' christians"), and the jews, (though only generally the state of israel) that seem to be giving allah/god/yhvh a really bad name recently.
so who should we believe, all of us who are left? what kind of god do we want to teach our children about? what kind of world would we like to live in?
having children myself who are half english and half turkish i want to teach them honestly about all beliefs (religious and political- but we all know i'll never get time or the knowledge for that! i will however do my best) and let them make their own way to a faith or not. because in the long run, if they choose to have faith in a God/Allah/Yhvh of any name i would hope that was based on real belief and a desire to really do good, and not just fear of the bogey man or their neighbours.
despite all this idiocy that is happening around us every day, i for one would still be rooting for benevolence. for a god of charity and love. for there being one god who we can all have our differing feelings about and relationships with, who cares for all the worlds children irrespective of race, position wealth, mental prowess and who would advocate his followers to have compassion and tolerence towards all his creatures. the strange thing to me is that anyone feels any different. but thats partly why i put in the clause about mental prowess. i really must be complete idiot to think many other people would agree no?
as usual i do actually think the majority of the world have idealistic dreams hidden deep inside them somewhere but a mixture of selfishness and lack of patience seems to lead to intolerence. mix in a bit of ignorance and we have people threatening death and damnation all over the place.
please G./A./Y. etc please if you are who i think you are, its time to say "give it a break people. stop the stupid war in iraq/your own homelands, put some decent money towards education and heathcare and take care of your own less fortunate, then see how that helps free money which can go to the rest of the worlds poor and sick."
i did tell you i lost vital brain power whilst pregnant. that'll obviously never happen. i might as well raise my kids to be intolerant bigots too. why rock the boat or waste time even thinking about something we can do nothing about?!
i will however do my best- we know theres no 100% foolproof solution to the worlds problems but that doesnt mean we shouldn't bother at all- it means we should try even harder to do the BEST WE CAN in whatever ways we can every single day for all of our futures and those of our children for gods/allahas/yhvh sake, and right now even more importantly, for our own..
...and although there does often seem to be bugger all i can do about it all, i can do this.....i can voice my opinions and thoughts and invite debate, and i can raise my children to do the same. i can do my best to raise them to be compassionate, loving, confident, eager to learn and open minded. and most importantly i can raise them to know without a shadow of a doubt that they are loved. be it by a God/Allah/Yhvh or the Universal Energy...or me, or you.the above print is by:
Labels: rantlets, the wonderlets
what a wally!
Published at Friday, February 17, 2006 by kedaand is that really how you spell wally by the way? it looks wrong!
well being the prize prat that i am, i am now still at home when i should have been at the cinema watching george michael: a different story, which i've been excited about all week. i've harrased my friend into putting my name down at the door, and into acompanying me and then got the bloomin time wrong! missed it by half an hour. no biggy for singles but now i have to find a babysitter for sunday night too.
my darling pelin who has saved me countless lira this year by putting my name at various doors i do apologise. and hope that you are not sitting in there billy-no-mates and laughing alone and being stared at by uptight people with friends, like i will on sunday night!
oh well at least i get to kiss the lets goodnight*
and as there are loads of fabulous films at the if festival this year, i'd better gat my act together/. and in case i don't manage that i'll start swotting up on alternative words for plonker.
kisses
Labels: istanbulundercover, rantlets
punctuation and spelling
Published at Friday, February 17, 2006 by kedaas i'm usually rushing to write, can't type well and can't be bothered to do spell check or such i apologise in advance for the above. it could also ber to dod with "loss of vital brain power" see below*
what was she thinking?
Published at Friday, February 17, 2006 by kedawell, as i'm new to this lark i've been flicking about and checking out whats going on with other bloggers. sure i've been preoccupied with the lets and work etc but as a sweeping generalisation i've noticed a difference between male and female blogs. mens tend to be either political or technical (work related or hobbies), and womens are about cooking and raising children or poetry and complex emotions. obviously that doesnt come as a huge suprise and there is nothing wrong with that at all.
however,despite having loved cooking for fun before i had children, now that it has become compulsory it fills me with a mixture of dread and boredom, kind of reminicent of the feeling of getting onto the school bus knowing you still havn't done your homework (and how i remember that i have no idea, having blanked almost everything else from those hideous secondary school years!). also apart from made up songs before bedtime and elaborate "kiddy" swearing i havent composed anything vaguely resembling poetry since university probably. that doesn't mean i don't appreciate it of course, but despite feeling stuff occasionaly i'm usaully more concerned with practical issues nowadays. (maybe that also applies to the food issue- now i want it to be healthy its lost its appeal!?)
which all in all has got me thinking. thats no mean feet i hasten to add, and since losing
ah yes. well um, i'm going to go to work re-educating myself. recently i got back into campaigning and letter writing and shouting at the telly and reading the news and donating to charity. the first good result of which was that the yummy yashosh pointed to the telly and said to a vistor as he entered the room "thats a very naughty man and he's talking absolute rubbish!" (george bush was on but it could have also applied to blair or many other naughty man currently on telly a lot)
but thats not really the way to go as i dont want the lets seeing to much of that rubbish so i'm on the net more. but all this appears to be rather "un feminine" net-wise so as a counter measure (and as i still can't bring myself to do recipies) i'll also try to dig out some of my hideously embarrasing old "poems". i will of course find it easy to talk about child rearing.
so thats my manifesto. to myself. to bridge the gap. and to try to get this knackered old ticker working again.
mood swings
Published at Wednesday, February 15, 2006 by kedathanks to the fabulous
"The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though,security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A BitCross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940,when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorizedfrom "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666." at
so true- alas i have either been in turkland so long that the old Mediterranean temperament has kicked in or maybe i was switched at birth and always had this lurking temper from unknown ancestors. Or just maybe as i'm still less quick to shout abuse but more apt to think/seethe carefully about my complaint, sincerely expect results and be absolutely amazed when nothing gets done i've become a strange hybrid.
its still less effective generally than either of the traditional cultural methods, but at least it seems to work when i order steak. things occasionally get done purely because when i do get cross i forget my turkish (i always refused to learn turkish swear words anyway as i found that sounding affronted and shocked and holding up in the air the hand that found its way to my bottom was more effective on buses in turkey that screaming blue murder and punching) and my odd mixture of "affronted" turkish and foul mouthed english teamed with a refusal to move and two adorable 3yr old blonde english/turkish twin girls in tow gets most locals quite scared.
they love kids here and out of respect for them or fear that someone will see them refusing something to children, i do now get treated a lot better and my moods work better for me. finally some respect, just because i'm a mother. but thats another issue obviously.
most of my issues nowadays have to do with overcooked steak still, ridiculous parking and noise pollution, none of which any of my neighbours hardly even notice unfortunately or if they do they shout loudly only if effects them directly (the parking issue), and generally expect zero results- after all "burasi istanbul abi yah"
so nowadays unless it effects the safety or mental health of my daughters or myself i tend mostly to seethe only internally, work out, pay for massage and give the outward appearance of code-"bif miffed" at most.
oh no having said that i just realised its snowing AGAIN. lets change that to "peeved". as one of the 'lets said this morning "i'm BORED with the Snow. i liked the sledding and sliding on the swipply but now it BORING!". captain loveday has spoken. so come on weather. we're girls, we need to wear nice shoes again.....
Labels: istanbulundercover, the wonderlets
my funny valentine
Published at Tuesday, February 14, 2006 by kedaoh my, its's a sad day in valentine paradise when the only person to give you chocolates is your ex husbands girlfriend!
bless her though, funny enough i had also bought some heart-shaped-frosted-cookies-pretending-to-be-lollies from the same shop to give to visitors and the lets, and knowing my ex thats probably the only heart shaped nonsense she'll encounter today either! no complaints though from either of us. we know where our breads buttered. we both get easier lives by liking each other often more than i at least like him. and its quite like living in a wonderful french farce thats actually too heart warming to ever get really interesting!
i had a pretty fabulous day actually all in all. ideal girly day. dropped the yummies to the local yuva in the snow this morning, before a quick sauna and shower at the gym. then off to help a friend buy a dress for a big night tomoro while their baba picked up the 'lets.
i of course managed to find a fantastic dress half price in the sale and shoes to match, which just were too gorgeous and too much of a bargain to even contemplate leaving in the shop. so i am the proud new owner of a flimsey nude dress and shoes. hee hee hee. my friend got lucky in the same shop too. so we were happy buddies*
then home to the lovelies. gonna need to rustle up some clients to pay for it but will spend all night in front of lost on the box admiring said new shoes so a result of a day.
now i need to rustle up a reason to wear it out.... but thats another issue!
Labels: istanbulundercover
what a load of old unbiodegradable landfill
Published at Tuesday, February 14, 2006 by keda
ok so its looks today like i'm going to have to go straight on in there and do my tree hugging /hippy mum /dont you dare try to prove me wrong rant... sorry- i didnt plan to go here, but as i looked up an environmental site, and a re-usable nappy site to link to, i came across all this, which due to my girls having toilet trained by then, i missed on 19th may 2005...
"We compared using disposable nappies, washing reusables at home and using a laundry service. To make the comparison fair we examined all the impacts while a child was wearing nappies. We found that there was little or no difference between the different types of nappy."
"Criticism from scientists involved in the waste arena pointed out to letsrecycle.com that the Agency's study was based on just over 100 parents using re-usable nappies, some of who had not used reusable nappies on their children for many years.
Mr Bradshaw said: "We welcome the research as an independent study and look forward to receiving the results of the further work. We recognise that the study has taken nearly three years to complete and in that time there have been changes in the type of re-usable nappies used.
The minister went on: "Government policy has always been that the choice of nappy is for the parent to decide. There are nevertheless targets to meet under the Landfill Directive to reduce the amount of biodegradable municipal waste landfilled, and use of re-uables can help contribute to achieving that target.
Britain throws away nearly 2.5 billion disposable nappies each year – about seven million nappies each day, according to the Environment Agency.
The UK alone produces about 800,000 tonnes of nappy waste per year, and the total annual cost amounted to £40m. It also said that savings from using cloth nappies could amount to £600 for one child.
The ASA originally upheld complaints from the Absorbent Hygiene Products Manufacturers Association that these claims were inaccurate. But an appeal reviewer for the association has now accepted that they were substantiated."
please also check out
I do realise that all this is of no interest to anyone without kids, but it does and will affect us all. i used re-usable nappies for my girls after having nightmares whilst pregnant about the state of the world i was bringing them into. i looked into all the arguments. i worried about the amount of water and electricity and detergents i might waste. i worried about nappy rash and i worried about landfill. i forgot to worry about the paper pulp in disposable nappies or the chemicals in them which absorb the wee and swell...
my ex husband is commercial director. he made adverts for a leading nappy manufacturer- much to my dismay but what could i do?- so on the set i challenged a pr man from the company. it was quite an interesting exchange, in which he told me that they had recently tried recycling the nappies in germay. however they found that most people were reluctant to travel across the city to take their waste to the one and only machine within the city (i forget which city, sorry). so they removed it. hardly suprising. most people are very busy when their babies are in nappies, many dont have cars, and the idea of hauling your baby plus a load of used smelly nappies across town on the bus or train doesn't sound practical even to me a budding recycler! anyway, after that i mentioned that the company i bought my nappies from also sold 100% biodegradable pads made from recycled wood pulp which could be flushed for use when travelling. i was using them that day and so showed him a sample. he appeared quite impressed and then rather foolishly commented that "yes, we used to use sustainable forests too once but for some reason we dont do that either now"
now you cant tell me you dont find that disturbing.
all those billions of nappies a year that we chuck out, that wont decompose for about 400 years and are full of chemicals, are not even made from sustainable forests!!!!!????? where do they come from then? please don't say the rainforests????
its outrageous.
i will agree that if people using re-usables wash too often, using small loads and lots of detergents and tumble dry everything, then yes the environmental impact would also be large. but if people are sensible, use good liners which mean you dont need to wash each nappy each change, use biodegradable detergents, only wash in large loads and line dry it has got to be a better option.
and what is all this nonsense about weighing your baby's health against caring for the environment? one of my twin daughters had very sensitive skin and had a reaction to the leading brand of disposable the one time i tried it out- that certainly was a good day for my ideals athough a bad day for poor yashosh!. she also had reactions to popular detergents so we had to use biodegradable non bio powders. we dont know what kind of effect the chemicals in disposable nappies could have on our children in the future either. they are a recent invention, and with so may new cacinogens around i for one am glad i didnt take that risk.
sure its all our own choice and i cant stop anyone doing what they will, but why do many people get so self rightous about using disposables (and using formula for that matter- hah that'll piss people off too) as a finger up to all of us "do-gooders"?
at least we are trying to make positive changes to help our children. all reports like these do is make people even more lazy and willing to put up with the status quo. and really do we want our children to grow up knowing that we could have tried to help save our planet, but couldn't see a sure fire, 100% foolproof way to do it and so chose to do bugger all instead.
if you really dont believe you can cope with washing nappies and bringing up baby thats fine, but you could still support the environmental cause by letting the companies know that you want them to be more ethical and green. and that goes for bottle feeding too. fine if thats what you need or choose to do. we can all be good mothers in our own ways- breast or bottle makes little difference in a loving healthy environment. but accept that in the best case scenario breastfeeding is better for the baby's health so dont go around saying shit like " we are strong advocates for bottle feeding" its just silly.
ok thats enough of an essay/rant for now.
glad i got that off my chest.
and you can buy washable nappies and those fabulous pads from
Labels: rantlets, the wonderlets
favourite cartoon of this ridiculous week
Published at Tuesday, February 14, 2006 by keda
there have been many great cartoons recently but this is one of my favourites....
what's going on?
Published at Tuesday, February 14, 2006 by kedaSo, although the yummy 'lets make me happy. here's a bit of stuff recently which made me very unhappy.....
By end December 2005, more than 1,000 men and women had been put to death in the United States of America since executions resumed there in 1977. Dozens of these people had histories of serious mental impairment, either from before the crimes for which they were sentenced to death, or at the time of their execution. Some had mental retardation(2), others suffered from mental illness, and some were diagnosed with both. For some, the diagnosis was of mental disorders caused by appalling childhood abuse, prison violence, or their experiences as soldiers sent into combat by their government. For others, mental illness appears to have been inherited. For some of those executed, years on death row had led to mental health problems or exacerbated existing ones. Mentally ill inmates are among the more than 100 people since 1977 to have dropped their appeals and "consented" to their own execution, a death wish made possible by a state all too willing to see freedom of choice for such individuals carried through to its lethal conclusion.
see
also all this cartoon nonsense. i object both to the absolute stupidity in re-publishing them and to the outrageous venom and violence shown by extremists, and to the cowardice of the saudi papers for making such a fuss just to divert attention from the awful deaths at the hajj. check out the fabulous religious policeman and other bloggers on the subject.
bush.
british soldiers in iraq- both their being there at all, and some idiots making it even harder for the decent ones as well as the iraqi people themselves.
the idea of id cards in uk. the state of our nation and blair.
the bloody snow here. it was fun for a few days but this is getting silly now.
the lack of decent uncomplicated sex on a regular basis.
and how confusing setting this up has been late at night after putting twins to bed- trying to post photos and links was sooooo damn complicated.
anyway, thats a start. i'm aware there's nothing new in any of that but at least i'll remind myself what to check out tomoro*
hello world and goodnight.
