mamahog 'n the lets

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Labels: the wonderlets

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Labels: hnt

well i've just spent the last couple of hours crying my eyes out.

i'm leaving my beautiful babies for what to them will be 9 sleeps.

i've made them a kind of advent calendar.. with 9 hearts to put stickers on each night that i'll be away. (i know, i know, but they are GURLS) and at the end they've been promised they'll awake with me next to them and presents.
this afternoon after getting balloons from our local snack bar they asked if they could fly up in the sky with them to go to ***'s house. (where i am going)

i've done it before. not flying over the pond with balloons but leaving them i mean. when they were just 2 i left them twice to go sailing and then to ferry to and then drive through italy.
1.5 years ago i left them for 12 sleeps to go gallivanting in a madagascar. and in may i buggered off to blighty for 5.

each time i cry. and sob. and feel like the rottenest lump of rotteness that ever rotted. so i should really be used to it by now.
but i'm not.

my shoulder has mutinied. but i will endure. (the lovedove gave me a fabulous massage and even sat on it which did ease it somewhat for a while)

i'm going to have a wonderful time. when i finally get there. and i know i am doing the right thing. i have been told so by 3 friends (who all love the lets) tonight via cell phone pep talks. and texts. and in person.

but my shoulder's not convinced. though my heart and my head are. most of the time.

this bond of motherhood though is intense. i feel almost as if my mammary glands are going to start pumping. and i wish i could tuck the old pod 'n bod inside me and carry them with me again.

so i've made them a gmail account. so they can mail me and i can mail them, so we can send gobbledygook chats. i've got 2 phones... soon to be 3 so we can text and talk. and i'm taking pictures and 'writing' that they drew me today.
i've left lists, and arranged people to play and take them out.
but it will never be enough. i will cry on the plane.
and everytime we talk.

and then after a day or so i'll be fine. and so will they. and i'll love the lie ins. and i'll forget to call until they are tucked up in bed.

and i'll have an incredible time, with a wonderful person. and i'll know i did the right thing.

until i get back on a plane. and cry again and wish it would fly quicker. and swifter and more directly and get me bloody home again to my poor little loves.

who will be happy, and bored with me hugging them too much, and ask how many presents i brought, and if they can have more sweets, and could i get outa the way of the telly.

but i'll have bought a new camera. and seen a new city. and have spent a week with someone who has made us all smile and guffaw and made me sigh more than i've sighed for years with anyone other than the yummilets.

so it'll all be worth it.

wish me luck and love darlings. and wish the lets fun and smiles.
(ooh and pray with me to the god of packing that i'm prepared for all climates and conditions.. because despite my 6 pairs of shoes for 7 nights i'm afraid i may be bogged down with dogma and i remain scared of eternal damnation. i bloomin hate packing)

but i'll be back before we know it.

and if i do manage to find a good rebound digital love i promise to prove his worth as soon as i can.

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Labels: the wonderlets

i feel like sharing some fabulets classics.

last month we spent a lovely week down south. beaching it with my oldest and bestest girlfriend and her son the angel gabriel.

it wasn't the first time they've visited. they came for the lets second birthday 2 years ago. and even then they brought out the very best in the littlelets....

once upon a time 2 hogs and 3 fabulets decided to go and visit the local palace.
the angel gabriel had at that time a passion for dressing up. that day he finally decided on a white chinese silk shirt with delicate embroidery, black judo pants, a lord of the rings belt him mum had made him and a plastic sword.
the yummilets were in gingham cloth nappies with frilly overpants, sticky-outy cerise tutu's, and some different coloured flowery cotton shirts. their hair was in bunches on the sides of their heads. for almost the first time and last time ever they were dressed almost the same. super silly idea. mamahog's a bit of a plank sometimes.

anyway, when this marvelous group of near mortals got within spitting distance (not that we ever would!) the whole place was swarming with kids. there were school trips going in and out constantly.
the angel gabriel and the lets were playing silly buggers. running around hiding and chasing each other. and everyone else in the vicinity was staring at them.
most disturbingly, screaming teenage girls would run towards them and try to grab them. mamahog had to keep shouting at these adolescents to not touch, or to back off, but did so in a smiley way so as not to freak out the wonderlets. either way all the attention was starting to annoy the girls, but they were having too much fun to go sit with the mama.

until finally, probably the fifth group of shrieking turkish schoolgirls came hurtling towards them and queen yashi had had enough.

she stood firm, faced them, raised her widdle arms in the air and shouted very loudly "NOOOWA. DOnts be's touchin more. TOUchinS ALL GONE!.......ALL Gone I sAID!"

the spotty teenagers stopped in their tracks (having no idea what she was saying, but feeling the anger), and the angel gabriel who had been staring at her in awe, jumped in front of her and started waving his sword at them. loveday just stood with a huge grin on her face looking proudly from her sister to the big mamas. and the rabble walked on by..

both hoglets used that a lot way back when.. the "all gone" thing.
i guess it came from food references.. "your dinner's all gone! you clever girl" or "no more chocolate baby.. it's all gone"

but then at bed time they'd say "tiwered's all gone!"
or, "hungys all gone" if they didn't like the look of lunch.

their avoidance tactics are more refined nowadays.
a while ago whilst attempting to get some privacy in the loo i overheard a particularly precocious line by loveday..
both ladylets were armed with telephones (loveday's was car shaped and yashi's formed from stone)
yashi (from the front room): loveday would you like to come over to my house?
loveday (outside the bathroom door): thank you. that would be lovely, but i am afraid i am in africa at present with my children. how about later?

favourite sayings 'at present' are...

in reference to a car that's completely blocking our front gate, requiring us to climb over it's now rather scratched bonnet to get onto the street:
"that's a really naughty car."
"shall we key it?"

"you're a plonker!"
"you're a .........gardener."

"infinity!"
"infinity in trousers!"

"your baba's coming over soon"
"oh good. i quite like him"

and our favourite songs are ....

in my heart, by Loveday

and..

green stomping elephants, by Yashi

so if sprite fountains prove too cutting edge for the masses they can always abandon city planning and fall back on their pop careers.
phew!

have a smashing weekend sweetpeeps.

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Labels: istanbulundercover, the wonderlets

hello darlings.

a few days ago i talked about a beautiful man called eric adam eisenberg.
i wrote about him as part of a project to remember those lost on september 11th 2001.
eric, as i said, stayed behind in the south tower helping people to evacuate and checking the floors for more people.
another man stayed with him. gary herold.
for whatever reason yesterday i was looking for gary's tribute and it wasn't posted. and that saddened me. so before i move on and start writing about spaghetti between my toes and the graffitilets new found love for mural art i would like to tell you a little about the beloved father of 3 more little supergirls.

i apologise now for not being quite as close to his story as i am erics, but gary's name and presence has been beside me throughout the last few weeks of my learning about eric.
from his daughters message in erics guestbook, thanking him, to the accounts from the tower that day.
and when i looked at gary's tribute page at liberty and began to read the memories of him i could see how treasured and adored this stoical quiet and calm man was.
and how greatly he is missed.
how could anyone who calmly re-enters his home in the morning with the words "The door fell off my car, I guess I'll be late for work." not be?
his three young daughterlets still talk of how his memory brightens their days and offer him sausages.
what could make a parent prouder i ask you?
so here's me raising a beer to gary. and to all his family and friends. he doesn't need me to remember him. he has a wonderful legacy of his own doing that beautifully as it is.
but i'll do it anyway.
and thank him for helping others who did, thanks to his bravery and eric's, get to go home and snuggle with their own sausage wielding littlets.


here's to gary.
who will always be remembered.

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there are a lot of important names in our lives. our family. our friends. people who affect our lives. and then all the things. objects. parts that make our lives well.. livable. describable.

eric is one of my names.
as is sternocleidomastoid.
among others of course.
sternocleidomastoid is the name of the muscle that runs from the sternum and clavicle to our mastoid bone. from our throats to just behind our ears in other words. it allows us to rotate and flex our heads.
and when i was learning to be a massuese in london about 6 years ago, it was the muscle first assigned to me to give a talk on.
i thought.. "dammit!" what a pain in the neck!" pun intended.
but i learnt it. and i loved it. and hardly a day has gone by when i didn't feel it or find myself being aware of its presence in my life ever since.
as it allows me to turn to look around me, and to throw my head back and laugh.

a couple of years before that my sisterlet had a son. she named him eric. i had always loved that name. though at the time it wasn't very popular. i loved it. even more because here in turkey, at the beginning of summer, we eat crunchy green plums called eriks. they taste a little like green apples and are so bright and refreshing that whenever i bite into one i feel alive and healthy.
eric also made me feel like this.

a few weeks ago now i was introduced to another beautiful eric.
this time in much sadder circumstances. and with no hope of ever really meeting him. though now he has come into my life, i am glad, and i will never forget him either.
eric adam eisenberg died on september 11th 2001. he was in the south tower when the plane hit, and there he remained, helping others to get out. he was 32.

i signed up to take part in a tribute project to the people lost that day. and i was assigned eric.
i'm never quite sure why i ever do anything that i do. and true to form a day or so later i was overcome with emotion and felt completely innadequate to the task. i felt i couldn't do him justice. and of course i can't. not really.

but over the past weeks i've developed a peculiar relationship with him somehow.. through the ether, or in my own mind. either way, i've just had a constant 'openess' in my mind. a kind of open question to him. and i've just been asking i guess for him to let me 'know' him a little and also asking if he minds me trying to do this.
of course i can never speak for him, but i've somehow come to feel a presence. and the feeling is warm.

last week i was lying in the hoglets bed.. i had just sung them a song that i sing them often before they sleep. it's the song above.
as i sang i suddenly felt a warmth and i knew what to write. i felt a soft glow that felt very much like friendship and as if everything was ok. somewhere.

the hoglets noticed i was just lying quietly and asked me what i was thinking. so i told them.

"i was thinking about a man named eric adam eisenberg. he died when you were still in my tummy."
"is he your friend?"
"no, i never knew him actually. but he was almost my age and i think we might have been had i ever had the chance to meet him."
"is he going to come here?"
"no sweetie. he died. like piree louise. do you remember her? ayse's cat?"
"so he's not hurting anymore?"
"no he's not baby. he's peaceful now"
"will we see him?"
"no baby. when people or animals die we can't ever see them again. but we can remember them. and think about them whenever we like. so we can always see them in our minds and feel them like that."
"ok mummy. goodnight mummy. goodnight eric."
"goodnight my angels. love you."
"goodnight eric."

hopefully it might just be time for that song now...


if you would like to get to know eric a little better you can read a few things about his funky and love filled life and some beautiful messages from his friends and family (in the guestbook) here

and his mum wrote a wonderful, heartbreaking piece about the ongoing process at peaceful tomorrows.

you can also follow the links to other tributes to people lost that day here


always missed. though may your presence be strong funny man. goodnight eric.

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leilouta posted a picture of the contents of her handbag the other day..

and bloody 'tagged' me to do the same. now fyi i'm rubbish at being tagged. it will always induce a groan, and as i've got plenty of responibilities already i shirk any i can possibly get away with.

but as she's so adorable, and funny.. and its actually quite interesting (to me anyway.. you are free to leave anytime you wish ;)) i got curious and thought i'd have a look in the darkest recesses of my bags.

i've always got two on the go however. one mini-minus-the-lets bag, and one massive-try-getting-bored-with-this-lot bag.

and the really important stuff, meaning purse, phone, keys and a lip balm just get slung from one to the other on my way out the door.

so lets look at the first first.

mosquito repellent (herbal)
stolen toothpicks
2 dried up old flowers
a bit of old tile (contributions from the lets those last 2)
keys
tissues
small pack moist tissues
blister plaster
bit of puncture repair sticker (only about 2cm square left)
purse (containing at least a months worth of old receipts)
one m3 battery (no bloody idea)
2 mini tampons
a hairband
a small cloth fan
a norwich union pen i found on the tube.
1 juicy tubes gloss (lancome)
1 silky lip balm (benefit)
1 melon 8 hour lip protection stick (elizabeth arden)
phone.

ok i saved myself from chapped lips and punctures.
good.

now here's what's in the 2nd bag...

i'll take it from the top.. as i can't see the bottom yet:

2 packs of temporary tattoos (new addition)
1 pair large sunglasses
a bikini
my sports club locker key and lock
factor 15 wrinkle control face cream (clarins)
factor 30 kids green sun cream.
more wet wipes.
2 pairs small pink sunglasses
my diary (i was wondering where that had got to)
a small dusty pebble
a stack of a3 paper folded (some of it previously scrawled upon.
a pack of 12 pencils and sharpener
2 small tubs of home made playdough
plastic knives, forks, plates, flower cutters and spoons for playdough
a few old pipe cleaners
a few tattered old coloured feathers
an assortment of old shopping/to do lists (one dating back to when the world cup was on)
some dried up foliage
arnica tabs and ointment
hypercal cream for cuts
3 plasters (2 look pretty manky frankly)
(my camera if it hadn't dumped me and my book would also be in either of these bags too but i've been reading it on the balcony today and just finished it.. 'a long way down' by nick hornby = bloody ace.)

how ridiculous is that???

i may be prepared for almost every eventuality but i mean COME ON?? i carted less around when they were still in bloomin washable nappies! (though at least i've now moved to packaged moist wipes.. not that i'm very proud of that change but when we used them all the time i felt it was too much waste ecologically and carried a box of real cotton wipes doused in rosewater and tea tree/lavender oil or chamomile tea)

i forgot to take the big bag last weekend however and after about 15 minutes (once the lets had finished off their ice cream soup), our friend ayla's words were "where's your bag?" i detected a touch of panic.

if we are going anywhere that involves too much walking i split the junk into 2 back packs and the lets carry them themselves. though there always comes a point when they ask to hand them to me. i am apparently the honorary 'bloke' when it comes to let handbag-sitting.
and though it might seem a lot it does mean i get to have food, tea, a decent chat/read of my book wherever we go.

but now i think about it, i wonder if its a good thing to be quite so prepared or not. i mean i know its a scouty motto 'n all but really. do we need to be entertained all the bloody time? and have moist lips?

i wonder if my children have become spoilt by always having something to do. they were certainly unable to amuse themselves for long last weekend without climbing over the first person who'd let them.. sorry ayla.
shouldn't i train them to amuse themselves like other kids in restaurants.. by pissing off all the other customers? thats how all kids learn to flirt is it not? and learn to take the inevitable knockbacks. maybe that's actually an important life lesson i'm depriving them of... ugh the pressures of doing the right thing. so hard being a parent.

and what of my lips? will they dry up and turn to parched desert like the one in that vichy ad if i don't smear sweet smelling stuff on them every few hours?
oh well i'll be having a long uk to us flight soon. and i won't be allowed any liquids, gels or potions throughout that trip,they'll all be tucked just inside my luggage though never fear. i don't believe in cold turkey. so i'll let you know how my pouty pinkies survive that. i know you will all be waiting with baited breath.


and i think for all my friends and those out and about at a table near me i'll keep the full basket of crap for the mo, despite its dubious effects on my childrens development. oh who am i kidding? i want a quiet cup of tea too thanks, and beside pipe cleaners are fun ;)

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Labels: the wonderlets

today the punklets went to yuva (pre-school) for the first day of the new school year. they apparently did "nothing".
when they came home they proceeded to strip all the cushions from the sofa, cover the floor with them and chant at me "lets play musical statues!" until i fairly true to form said "ok, why not."
the first song that came up on i-tunes today was adam and the ants 'dog eat dog'. and i am proud to say that it went down WELL !

the pogolets bounced about crashing in to each other, wiggling hips and flaying limbs so fabulously between posed statue breaks that i was transported back in time to 1980 when i first fell in love. aged 10 or possibly 9 come to think about it.
oh you may scoff... but first love's a powerful thing.

and when the love of ones life looks like this it's a pretty hard act act to follow.
i saw them in concert the following year. my mum came with me, and we were lucky enough to be in the under 5' section. not quite so punk rock i'll admit.. but i was too young and smitten to care. still am.
and i met my first real boyfriend there.. another short arsed 10yr old one that i actually kissed. and had an on off love affair with (more off than on, but we stayed friends throughout) until i was 18.
he was no adam ant, but he was in a band... and they did a wicked version of physical. (and no..not the olivia newton john song.. good grief. what do you take me for??)


anyway... all good things come to an end.. and as adam got poppier and finally disappeared from view i moved on. to paler or darker versions of the same.
but adam will always hold a place in my heart (despite his recent troubles and incarnations.. he certainly was a pretty youth).
i'm pretty sure i wasn't at the time, but as i'm cameraless i thought i'd try and dig out an old photo from back then. sadly i couldn't find any. i'm not sure if that's down to the fact that i refused to be in any or that none were taken or just down to me destroying all evidence way back when.
so this is about the oldest i have that's not of me aged about 5. it must have been taken in 1990 i guess. and as i remember it i still had a little pic of adam.. among other yummies stuck on the kitchen wall.

after that i can only remember seeing mr ant two other times.. once playing himself on an episode of northern exposure with another of my all time loves. and then when he released you're wonderful.

which is of course true. though i did appreciate that he finally said it.

happy hnt babes. mosh on over to the sidebar to see why i'm exposing not only my skanky youth, but a little flesh... though most of its on the hunk rather than me.

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Labels: hnt, questionable past lives

all manner of oddness happening in hogland at the mo...

nothing major.. just little bits of weird.

a few days ago i had a dream that stray cats were trying to get into the yummilets room while they were sleeping. they weren't aggressive (apart from trying to enter against my wishes), but they were slightly unpleasant nonetheless.

the following morning about an hour after we got up, loveday came inside from the front balcony and told me she'd just seen a funny cat with a white eye patch. as that balcony is not accessible from anywhere but the salon i couldn't imagine how a strange cat could have got there, but went to look. and there hiding behind my blue pine was indeed a strange cat.
again he wasn't aggressive but was very scared so unwilling to be coaxed out.
finally we took a stroll to the shops leaving all the doors open to the back balconies (through the lets bedroom) and when we returned he'd scarpered.

the previous day i'd finally tackled the evil paper monster that had swallowed my scanner too. that's a fucking miracle.

on sunday night an old friend called me. she was part of a group of mum's that i had met when i organized a babygroup when the lets were wee. we used to meet once a week in each others houses, and then when the kids reached about 18months i started running a little creche thing in my home. we just did it for about 6 months until we broke up for the summer and some mums left the country and others of us went on to put our children in various pre-schools.

Y is a lovely japanese lady who finally moved back to tokyo almost 2 years ago i guess.
she came for a visit and it was her that called to say she would be coming over to mine on monday (yesterday). we had planned this in advance, but on sunday night she called to tell me that virtually everyone else who used to come to the group and were still around would be coming too.
eeek. i barely had enough cups!
then about 5 minutes after receiving that news another lady.. this time the lovely lady who had helped me with the creche called, and said she was leaving the country on tuesday (today) and so wanted to come and say goodbye and drop off a book she had borrowed the last time we saw each other.

now i hadn't seen any of these lovely people for around 2 years!
and suddenly they would all be descending the very next day, kids in tow (a few of them with second children i'd hardly or never met), on the one day i had noone to help clean up!

my lovely friend ayla assures me i'm a 'queen hostess'. and i do seem to host stuff fairly often. it's easier i find than traveling or getting maids to stay the night etc.. but my skills at the job are sketchy at most. my usual form is to do as little as possible, and ask everyone to bring a dish/drink or order in. i don't possess matching plates, knifes, cups or platters, let alone bloomin napkins. it's a purely kitchen roll and there's the kettle and tea bags kind of affair.
but it appears to work.

and once again it did. marvelously. 8 adults and 11 children in my house. hmmmm and no breakages whatsoever. i'd call that a result.
until the splashlets asked if they could fill the paddling pool and i typically said "yeah why not?" plunging the whole affair into havoc.
the turkish kiddos wanted to join the fun, but as they were apparently "sick and taking medicine" (though there'd been no mention of this before and they'd been playing perfectly happy until that time) they were not allowed to strip to their underfrillies and frolick in the tepid paddler on a 32˚c sunny day.

screaming ensued and the place cleared out quicker than you can say ummmm... ughhhh... "get yr kits off and the last one in's a pansy!"?

it was lovely. exhausting. messy. but great to see everyone. and my home looked like the one at the end of the mike myers 'the cat in the hat' film. playdough in the carpet and every block, car, my spittle pony, and plastic animal we own all over the rear of the house.. biscuit crumbs, sesame seeds and humus all over the living room... socks, towels, and water all over the balcony.. and a 60ft hose running throughout and causing a minor flood in the hallway due to a puncture.

so a busy day.. not particularly weird i suppose, apart from all the old friends coming out of the woodwork at once..
until i tell you that..shock horror...

I CLEANED IT ALL UP BY MYSELF!! i did. honest! (well the lets did hoover a bit of the salon just before they went to bed.. but it was fairly ineffectual frankly despite the good intentions).
i actually put all the left over food in airtight containers. stacked the dishwasher and washed up the rest. tidied the toys and the playdough. got biscuits out of the sofa.
i did it. i did.

so when our new helper came at lunch time there was no sign of the carnage of the previous morning.

that is not only weird. that is UNbloodyheard of.

ooh and i was early for something this week. that's unheard of too.

and the girls keep talking about "when we have another baby.." (pah hah ha.. chance 'd be a fine thing!)

ooh and i'm going to be visiting an undisclosed location in the states in 15 days time for a week.

and all those stupid daily and weekly horoscopes which are usually hilarious in their mammoth distance from my reality are behaving wrong and getting it all right for a change.

WEIRDNESS.
well to me anyway.

but as i still don't have a camera i still can't prove any of it.

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Labels: istanbulundercover, the wonderlets

oh god... i so miss my camera. the day after i last posted, the lets (who had so missed their toys while holidaying at the beach) built from wooden blocks, their wooden railway and assorted plastic animals, an incredible four legged city.
it came with a gorilla railway, a crocodile ride, a kebab-skewer gated swimming bath, assorted cow-topped towers and a marvelous municipal fountain. (which actually worked with the aid of drinking straws and sprite)

and i can't bloody prove it!

so i'll just have to show you what loveday was capable of doing completely alone almost 2 years ago. she built this incredible structure while i was in the bath aged 2 and a bit.



now do you believe me?

she's less ummmm 'ordered' nowadays. she's in a more postmodern space architecturally. but i for one think sprite fountains is a marvelous idea.

though a new camera is an even better one!

today we went out to go to our helpers wedding. she told me when she came to work for me over a year ago that she was married. and i've met her 'husband' on more than one occasion. lovely man he is too... brought wine for me and sweets for the lets the first time he visited. that man knows his shit :)
they are both african (she from ethiopia and he from nigeria) and go to a mostly african frequented church every sunday. they've even taken the girls a couple of times.
anyway....
she's currently VERY pregnant, and so has recently been slowing down understandably. we don't however seem to have any real idea how pregnant exactly.. i usually get a vague "um 7 or maybe 18months...?" whenever i ask.
finally last week she came to a complete stop and she informed me on wednesday morning when we got home from gumusluk that she would not be working for us anymore and invited me to her wedding on sunday (today) before she left 2.5 minutes later.
luckily we had been prepared for this so the lets baba had already lined up a lovely young moldovian girl who the lets adore already.

so off we trundled this afternoon to sarah's 'wedding'.
i wanted to avoid the church bit and she had been typically vague about the address of the church anyway so i assumed she just wanted us to do the reception bit.
her husband (to be?) called me at 8 am to tell me it had been postponed until 3 from 1pm, so we climbed the 7 flights of stairs at 4.30.

to find a room filled with rows of chairs all facing the front where there were 2 more chairs facing back and 2 blokes sitting up a little band in the corner. apparently it would be another 30mins before they arrived... at least.

so we hung about for a bit until the wigglets got bored and called a friend to go for a coffee and ice cream down the road. i'm not very good at being early for anything really as i've had virtually no practice.

so during a lovely coffee outside an old passage in tunel i saw the most beautiful sight in a side street at the end. two open windows on a building with lovely old cracked paint. a line was strung across each window with assorted greyscale socks. behind them could be seen the back of a great old 70's swirly printed orange and brown sofa. gorgeous..

but i can't bloody prove it.

anyway after ice cream, tea, coffee and cake, the lets and i and our lovely friend ayla headed of to the wedding. ayla the lovely kindly offered to help carry a lazilet up a few of the flights.

and in we went.
the whole room smelled sweetly of curried lamb. and everyone was brightly dressed and sitting in their rows of stackchairs. except for a lively group at the front with arms raised in jesus name. singing and organ abounded. and we could just make out through the throng our lovely sarah dressed in white satin at the very end. the lets didn't recognise her. i hardly did. but as we were the only white people in the room everyone quickly turned to look at us and she waved, making it easy for the lets to accept her shiny flowery, bejeweled and be-satined form.

and we were quickly bustled to the front row. the lets were in awe. sarah was a 'princess'. the lady behind us had pink hair and a satin turban. the woman behind ayla had orange braided/dreadlocked 'caterpillars' in her hair, and the choir consisted of her and a lady in at least 5inch white heels and hair braids to her knees. and the music was fabulous. wonderful, joyous, african and reggae hymns.
it was marvelous. and hot. and the food rocked.

and though the shylets were too scared to really speak to the transformed princess sarah, we all had a wonderful time.

we are going to miss her. though she rarely smiled, or talked, or did anything if she could help it really, she is an old friend now. and though i babble here like nobodies business, i'm pretty quiet at home. so her silence fitted this fairly calm household. and she bloomin called me 'mrs keda'... silly i know but that shit grows on you :#)

i hope she is happier in her new life without having to trudge over here 5 days a week. and that she finds comfort caring for her own new baby instead of having to make my two endless apple juices and worry about whether or not to throw out the 2 toilet rolls with orange painted cotton wool and toothpicks stuck to them in case they are actually a truck or not.

and i look forward to having them all come visit as a real 'married' family, with a dribbly little bubbins of their own. and then i'll make her tea. i'm sure she'll smile more.

the party today seemed very much like a good beginning.

but i can't bloody prove it.

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