mamahog 'n the lets

i slipped away for a while.

away from the glare of the computers screen and the bright light bouncing in from the terrace.

i retreated back into my cave. back to my cool mossy depths.

i wore new lingerie fresh from the post, and let romance wash into domestic bliss.

i ate too much and drank a lot, and laughed, and played, and shagged.

and i contemplated life as a part of a twosome. or a foursome counting the lets.

i freaked out a little and then relaxed a lot. and watched an awful lot of telly.

i took some time away and now i'm at ease. and once again ready to let the light shine, softly from different angles.


happy half nekkidness darlings.

slip on over to the sidebar for more, and have a lovely weekend full of sunshine and shimmers.

mwuah!

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Labels: hnt, other.

i'm sorry!!!! (for anyone who actually gives a flying fig)

i have all kinds of excuses. some brilliant, some slightly naff. all true. nearly.

but as i'm so totally busy snuggling and watching firefly dvd's and eating chocolate and am out of practice writing and stuff i'm going to post this filler post to help me get back into it with no writing pressure 'n shit.

so here are some pictures of what's been keeping me busy. pensive hoola-cat-girls, killer rabbits, cross dressing pirates and quicksand and the like really do play havock with ones underpants.







i've just about managed to wrench myself free... for a while. i'll visit you all soonish. i promise. thank you for being nice to my balding, hairy and slightly sad arse boyfriend. (as if i'd ever hold off physical affection as punishment... i'm more likely to insist on more. "service me scumbag!!").

until thursday my lovelies. i will be back soon! it is good to be back and to see you all again.

le sigh.

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Labels: istanbulundercover, the wonderlets

When an angel falls, it’s not from grace
It’s not so crude or commonplace
When an angel falls, I think, instead
She’s simply falling into bed


MacYums here.

Keda's in bed, fervently being ravished by the sandman at the moment; thus, she's tasked me with fulfilling your unquenchable thirst for nekkid brilliance.

Enjoy.

She wishes for me to say that she loves you all, she's indubitably not axe-murdered and she'll be back on track with that whole words and writing and aversion-to-spell-check-and-shift-key thing very soon...once she realizes that her boyfriend's lackadaisy in terms of undapants posting is communicable and decides to inoculate herself by getting off her sweet, sweet ass and publishing her own shit, tout de suite.

If I were Keda, I'd now tell you to look to the sidebar on your right and figure out what HNT is all about (if you've no idea.)

If I were Keda, I'd also have written that last sentence as follows:

if i wers keow id' now te ll ouko ij a io iiq i34 98 ubk 8j 'aeuyiysv HNT is alro asodk nsadkflksado (plbbbbbbbbbbtttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!).

(FUCK...I'm not getting laid for the next 30 years. But it was so freaking worth it.)

smooches where it's naughty...

r

fin...

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Labels: hnt, other.

a couple of nights ago, the true loves of my life and i snuggled up together to watch a bit of telly before bed. in such a familiar and comfortable way, one lovelylet either side of me, my arms wrapped around behind them both, i squeezed them gently and sighed.

"mummy," says one, "i love you more than i love myself."

ggnnnhhh

"actually i do too! mummy... i love you more than i love myself too."



i want to shout to them.. "love yourselves more babies. always love yourself more than anything else! you are the most precious. i can take care of myself. you have to love yourself more!"

but when i do say it gently they reply "but why? i do love you more than i love myself mummy. do you love you more than you love us?"

and the true answer is always "NO! i do love myself, but i will always love you more." and how could it be any different?

"....when you are a mummy you will love your babies more than yourself. but until that day love yourselves most dear ones. i'll always be happy to be a close 2nd or third!..."

these two incredible gifts became five yesterday. friday april 6th 2007. or rather at 2am in the morning, and in those 5 years and 40weeks since they have been in my life, they have taught me to love myself too.

these two beautiful, funny, compassionate, cheeky, individual, yet wonderfully close little angels, have made me stronger than i could have ever dreamed.
they have shown me that i am good enough. that i can do what needs to be done. that i can love unconditionally. that i can make myself and other people happy. that i can look after myself. and others. that i can juggle jobs, and children and home. that i can live without a man as well as i can live with one. that i can get along reasonably well most of the time with my ex husband. that i can learn new things, and am brave enough to keep moving. that i can still have fun, without money, without a partner, without enough time. and that i can still meet new wonderful people.
and they have shown me that life keeps on around me and that i can either sit and watch it go by or i can grab a hold of it and enjoy something in every day. as children have that incredible ability to do.

they have taught me much in such a short time. as much as i have taught them, without a doubt.

and as much as i love myself, i will ALWAYS love them more. i will take very good care of myself, i will do what i need to do for me, so that i can continue to be a happy mummy. because happy mummies find raising happy children easier i think. but my love for them will exceed all else, for as long as i live.
and though now it's so very beautiful to hear how much they love me, as they grow, and one day soon, learn that i am right, and that they must, and do, love themselves more (until of course they become mummies themselves), i shall be proud to know that...

until the planet with the rings on it.
until as far as oban star racers.
until the end of all the planets and stars.
up to the moon and past the back spaces
until 230 and 56 and 32 and infinity the highest number.
in trousers...
i will love them more.

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Labels: hnt, istanbulundercover, questionable past lives, the wonderlets

sistine chapel. egg tempera.
(i know i'ts old news but i've got a bee in my bonnet again.)

it'll be a shame to see it go. i hope they give us ample warning before they tear it down. which the catholic church is really going to have to do now it's allowed bill shitface donthavaclhue to be their spokestwat. or look like total hypocrites.
oh woops. sorry silly me. dumdeedum dee dum.

i would love to see it before it's totally discredited for being edible and showing rude nudie bits and stuff.

i'm still pissed off about missing all those buddhist artworks/pieces of filth that the taliban destroyed. it will be a pity to miss these old renaissance artworks/pieces of filth too to the other sides henchcunts.

on the other hand it'll do wonders for italy's tourism in the coming... how long do you reckon we've got?
umm, right. easyjet.com, thy, mumbles and googles cheap flights...

next post will be friendly and family orientated i promise.

it's the modernartlets birthday's on friday and my virtual boyfriend will become 3d tomorrow.
so things are definitely looking more chocolatey flavoured by the second :)

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Labels: rantlets

i know that's rather rude, and i do sort of apologise ;)

but it's not my fault hardly AT ALL. someone from iran used that exact sentence to do a google search and found me a couple of days ago. poor bugger was obviously finding it hard to find what he was looking for too... as i was only on the 4th page.
(i was quite pleased he spelt the word arse correctly rather than the other 'ass' thing. that's something.)

i've been feeling a bit like lubricating my arse and inserting my blogspot recently so i do sympathise on one level. but not knowing quite which level they were coming from i may be misguided.

mine was more from an... um... 'am fed up with whining about minor health stuff but have nothing else about which to write/ have lots about which to write but no inspiration/ bugger it this bloody seat's really fucking uncomfortable/ i'm stuck/ should be writing that bloomin article but can't be bothered but now feel quilty writing anything else so i'll go eat something with cheese instead/ want to write something quite heartfelt but it might upset people. but... ' kind of way.

one friend suggested maybe the seeker just really hated blogger. but i think blogger wouldn't really care unless it hurt them. and with all that lubrication i sincerely doubt they'll feel a thing.

i just think iran's searcher is sexually repressed. i mean living in iran frankly it's law to be sexually repressed. he/she needs an outlet and hopes that we kind 'bloggy' people will help him/her.
just like the person from suadi arabia who found me whilst searching for 'women having sex with gorillas', or the ones from kuwait and tunisia looking for 'vibratores' (that's actually a very popular search and i take full responsibility as i actually talked about, and named a post after that.), or the pakistani looking for 'my big twat.com' or the ones from the uae and egypt, and texas and virginia (don't blame me for the locations- they pop up from sex based google queries ALL the time), who's exact searches i can't quite remember off-hand.

and you know what? we can actually help them.
-maybe not quite in the quick fix kind of way they were actually hoping for- i'll leave that to the sex bloggers and web cam people. they do a fabulous job already-
but i will continue to talk about and bring attention to the hypocrisy and dangerousness of sexual repression everywhere.

i mean just the fact that none of my weird pervy searchers ever come from europe, but always from strict religious countries and the american bible belt is proof enough for me that if people don't have the freedom to have normal healthy sexual education and relationships with themselves or others, or have nonsexual exposure to the human body in all its forms then they start craving much more peculiar and unhealthy ones.

that's why i think this lunatic, and the 48% of ManySubNormalBrainedCreitinous readers who voted and agree to finding this beautiful sculpture offensive too, are obviously extremely dangerous in the grand scheme of things.
i mean jesus, like other blokes in general was apparently created in god own image right? (meaning god has a willy?) well, even if being the supreme being and all he didn't have one, he did make jesus (according to this guy and many perfectly nice people like my mum and others who read me regularly.) and jesus was apparently blooming PERFECT. so why should his willy (which also apparently was never used for sexual purposes, and only for totally innocent weeing.. jesus did wee didn't he?) be anything to be ashamed of or offended by??

why should any willy be seen as offensive? especially if it's not even being seen in a sexual context. i just do not get it.
baby boys have willies. we don't find them offensive. we (or i at least and a few of my friends) find them SOOOPER CUTE. so why should a willy on a sculpture be any different?

it's like people being offended by boobs. it's just silly.

especially when they are being used to provide food.

and when we see them sexualised on tv, in advertisements and magazines every bloomin day with nobody really getting up-in-arms at all.

which is why incidentaly, i am Absolutely doing a public service by refusing to wear a bikini top whilst on the beach. when it's hot and i see blokes walking about topless it makes me very angry that i am expected to wear a top. for no reason other than other peoples embarrassment and sexual hangups. i don't take my top of because i want everyone to see my boobies, any More than joe hairy-fat-moobs does. he takes his t-shirt off because he's hot and thinks 'stuff this'. and so do i.
but i will not take off my top just yet in the middle of the street. i will stay hot in respect of these poor misguided fools, and work gradually to bring about equality. shock therapy's a little extreme even for me. but the beach and the pool are a good place to start.)

trying to hide the innocent human body from view is stupid.

stupid stupid stupid.

and dangerous.

whether or not you like the sculpture of the sweet jesus, it has a right to exist and be shown. and is a lot better than having a mutilated or covered-up de-sexualised version.
i think it's bloody brilliant personally. and a great comment on how this 'christian' event has been taken over by the chocolate industry. his willy should never have been an issue .
though i'm not a christian, jesus was Very cool. and i am a fan of chocolate.

but the really important thing is, had i seen that sculpture without all the stupid brainless furor i would have thought it was a beautiful and powerful comment on how our most basic treasured beliefs and feelings can me forgotten behind our consumerism... i would never have even noticed the peepee.

and i would NEVER EVER in a BILLION squAJILLION years have thought of licking jesus' chocolate balls.

but because of mr pissyprick sexualising it and making the genitals such an issue, now i can't get them out of my mind!!!

fanatical repressive lunatics make people into evil perverts. it's official. i know. it's happened to me.

sulk.

i'm sorry.
i should totally probably have done the insertion while i had the chance.
i'm going to miss you guys i've just offended.
but remember it's totally that rabid religious runts fault.

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Labels: rantlets