mamahog 'n the lets

the lovelet just got even cuter :) and now i feel as if my heart is going to burst.

my darling bravelet was so insistent that she wanted her gorgeous locks cut off "just 'coz" that i had to give in. but we couldn't find a style we all liked. until we walked into the place, saw the lovely german girl who worked there, and loveday leaned and whispered in my ear "i want my hair just like hers. only without the glasses, and without the old"

for now yashosh is happy to keep her beautiful tresses long. and as long as we do lovely, pretty things with them, she's gorgeous enough to keep people looking at her too, and not just freaking out about how fabulous loveday's new cut is.


of course it helps that's she's funny.



and the bribe/promise that i'll let her dye a couple of streaks semi-permanent pink, once i find some cool hair dye, also helps.

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Labels: the wonderlets

once upon a time in a land far far away, lived an aging swellhog and her two beautiful young daughters. despite being delightfully happy, busy and productive, they all occasionally, secretly wished for a fit, interestingly talented, yet decent bloke too do household chores, play ticklegames with and generally enable them all to sit for hours in front of crap telly. they were not even aware at the time that they wished for this. but deep down they are pretty sure they did.
during the peaceful hours of eventime, once her brilliant offspring had drifted off to their sleepy dreamworld of mermaids and luke skywalker, the swellhog, who hadn't yet begun to swell, would sit and write cackhanded stories about their lives.
she would illustrate her tales with amateur photographic snippets, and absolutely wonderlet drawings which depicted their humble yet exotic seeming lives quite adequately given the dodgy equipment.

lo and behold, one particularly busy day, the secretly wished for decent bloke actually bloody appeared, as if by magic from the stalkernet, by way of contemporarymail.
the swellhog was almost too hassled at the time to notice as she was busy packing for a freebie weekend break to blighty with the current diversionary tactical male.
but appear he did, and despite being properly fobbed off for a dirty weekender, he continued to write his support and funnies. and upon the swellhogs return, she, in characteristic twatiness, gave away way too much information, and their friendship was sealed.
the beautiful young daughters, never happy to be left out, joined in whenever they could, sending pictures and soundbites, and monkey textspeak galore.

before long the three, far, far away unladylike ladies had enveloped the more than decent bloke into their peculiar weblife, and, after months of romantic yet completely nerdsome correspondence, the virtual lovers finally met. our more than decent bloke sent a bounty with which his hearts desire could purchase the means to fly across the ocean, to be near him, and meet with him at last.

the swellhog had stopped eating lunch for months and spent hours and days in the worlds most expensive gym, sweating and starving. she swam and sunbathed compulsively and even began painting yuckstuff on her nails to get into peak physical perfection in order to wow the decent bloke. and wow it did.

when they met, they fell into each others arms, and despite the difference in space and time, and the seriously fucked up shoulder ache, drugs and love did the wonderful things that drugs and love often do, and lusty love blossomed.

but before long our lovely lusty pair had to return to the reality of different spaces and times. and already swellinghog boarded her plane and was returned to her two most precious loves, her beautiful daughters.

for over half a year, these lovers talked each sunrise and sundown. they wrote the words they had each fallen in love with across the world. and they waited and planned, and dreamed of the day they would be together. more than decent bloke, visited, once halfway across the world, at the land of our heroines own mother, and once at her own birthaversary, until finally it came. the day he would come at last, and stay.

two days before the most beautiful girls in the worlds birthday, decent bloke made his biggest voyage yet. the biggest adventure of his life. the one in which he would become a member of that far far away household, and start doing the chores proper like. starting with making the birthday cakes.

happily ever after is a myth as we all, by now, surely know. that doesn't mean it has to be unhappily ever after either though of course.

adapting to a supposedly exotic country is never easy, what with the bloomin power cuts 'n shit. and fitting into a close knit family of three (albeit flipping fabulous) women for a decent bloke can surely be no picnic either. but our hero performed amazingly, as we never doubted he would.
accepting a bloke in, no matter how decent, and having to give a toss about what he thinks about stuff and actually remember to listen and tell him things is not easy either for an independent swellinghog.
and as for those superb little wonderbeings, the greatest daughters in the world, it surely cannot have been a bed of roses having to share swellingmummy. or have another person to notice misdemeanors and tell them off in loud bloke voice.

yet each and everyone of our heroines and our hero, made a life together worthy of cheese. they found one another across a world of difference, and struggled and laughed and bitched and shouted at and with one another in their exotic sounding home consistently for over a year.
and they were happy.

then one day, they decided it was time to all go together to visit decent blokes own family. time to fly together over the seas, to meet his delightful mother, and father and sister, and her own glorious offspring. the date they set was a year to the day of very much more than decent blokes arrival in their home. they found tickets which wouldn't cost them a kings ransom, and contacted all the kings men to make sure that there would be no problem just paying the hefty fine for having overstayed their tourist visas at the airport, as had always been the rule of the land. our swellhog was not in the least afraid as having been a visitor herself to this land for 12 long years she had paid many a fine every time she left almost, and was always welcomed back for the mere ten spondoolies she graced the visa dude man's sweaty palm with.
having been assured of a safe return by one of the kings women, the swell family set off for the western lands not quite as quietly as the neighbours would probably have liked in the middle of a sultry pitch black night in the late spring.

only to be told by one of the kings very sleepy men at the home of the great winged creature that would whisk them away to the western reaches, that they would be banished.

banished. for months and months.

they left their far far away exotic sounding land, banished. a year to the day of their wonderful beginning of a life together. and took wing across the worlds blue waters to the western lands slightly in denial.

a fabulous holiday was had. despite the in denial swellhog's mutinous lumber region, and the consequential taking of many many drugs and the highly embarrassing use of a wheelchair for museum trips. they bought dinosaur eggs, and remote control spiders. they ate swell flabblob inducing foods, and blue candyfloss. they spoke with birds, and americans. they met an elf, a girl with a magic finger, and their brilliant elder brother and sister, and even an olivia. they saw an orangutan with an ear fetish and got plants that eat bugs. they celebrated the incredible daughters sixth birthdays with fantabulous new grandparents.
and after frantic letter writing and phone calls with consulates, the swellhog and her most wondrously beautiful progeny took flight once again, back to the far far away lands thoroughlyish unbanished.

but they had to leave their very much more than a lot decent bloke behind. and kiss him goodbye.
for three long months.


and now they sit. decent blokeless, skint and rather a bit more than fed up.

and the once romantic correspondence that brought our currently star-crossed lovers together continues. slightly less romantic now, and a bit more bloody annoying.

but they will endure. and one day not toooooooooo far from now, these miraculous lovers and their wonderlets will meet once again.

in a land far, far away.

*

it's been a hell of a month. it's ongoing.
but the fabulets are evermore wondrous.



so that's something.

and now they are six.

i hope all's well in all the other far far away lands.

g'night.

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Labels: istanbulundercover, rantlets, the wonderlets